Weekend

Dash enjoying the sunset in Laguna Beach.

The Two-Sided Kandinsky

Sometimes the pieces fall into place, but the solved puzzle looks much different than what you had envisioned. I never thought English-style riding looked fun. But, as it turns out, I'm enjoying the traditions and protocol associated with this genteel pursuit. This isn't to say that Western-style pleasure riding is disorderly, but certainly things such as dress code are more relaxed.

And speaking of dress code, my formal dressage coat, top hat, and spotless white breeches will look much better in my romantic English lavender fields than would faded jeans and a dusty cowboy hat. I can't think of a reason why I'd be strolling around the lavender gardens in my riding apparel, but you just never know. During today's conference call, I broke the news to the Six-Button Cowgirls that I'm probably a proper English-style equestrian disguised as a cowgirl. They did not blink an eye. "We never bought your free-spirited, rugged cowgirl charade," said one. "No one likes rules, rigidity, and keeping her hands clean more than you," agreed the other. They are not entirely wrong, I suppose. Back in my sorority days, I was VP - Parliamentary Procedure, whose sole job was enforcing Robert's Rules of Order at chapter meetings. I know, I know--there are so many disturbing things about that statement. Wow.

But whatever. If you think about it, an urban cowgirl is by definition multi-faceted; like the two-sided Kandinsky in the John Guare play The Six Degrees of Separation, which has, although not real, triggered many a philosophical discussion about concurrent order and chaos. (Do nature and the ranch represent chaos and the city and the office represent control, or vice versa?) Or maybe the urban cowgirl dichotomy is more comparable to a mullet: business-in-front/party-in-back. Uh, let's go with the Kandinsky.

Lavender Lifestyle

I couldn't sleep last night because I was a little worried that my cowgirl attitude and attire will be out of place on my lavender farm. If the stuff I'm seeing on lavender farm websites is any indication, it looks like I'll have to wear Laura Ashley dresses, keep my hair long and flowing, don floppy straw hats, stroll around with a woven basket overflowing with flowers, smile demurely, speak softly, pose for pictures in silhouette (backlit by golden sunlight) and hold hands with a cherub-y child dressed in white and wearing a lavender wreath. Egads.

Helmet Head

I bought my training helmet today at an equestrian supply store over in San Juan Capistrano, which was, incidentally, abuzz with preparations for the annual return of their famous cliff swallows. The swallows leave town each year on the Day of San Juan (October 23) and head to their winter home 6,000 miles away in Argentina. They come back to the famous Mission San Juan Capistrano each year on St. Joseph's Day (March 19). Crowds of visitors greet the little birds with parades and fiestas. But I digress.

One person who does not need a training helmet? The Wrangler. He's quitting his riding lessons! He claims it's because he wants to focus on golf and guitar, but I think it's because he felt out of place at the stables. All of the students and most of the trainers are women. The lessons are private, so it's not like he was the only dude in a group of girls. But it's true he was the only guy in a training ring. I'm not super disappointed. Think of the savings! Without the Wrangler in the mix, I can add an extra lesson each week, buy twice as much stuff at the tack store, and buy a horse that's twice as fancy. Because that's how it works, right?

What Color Is My Parachute?

So here we are, nearly three months into 2010, and I have to give myself some props for making decent progress toward moving the Rainy Day Ranch into the physical realm. I've attended a farm conference, enrolled in a class on how to start a farm or ranch, and thoroughly researched various farm/ranch financing programs. The time has come to get serious about the actual business enterprise. Is it a Christmas tree farm or a pumpkin patch? Am I keeping alpacas or starting a creamery? Should I be a real cowgirl and raise grass-fed beef?

I guess I'm not that excited about trying to master multiple crops, so general organic farming is out. I'm gruff and not particularly social, so I cringe at the thought of a bunch of hooligans traipsing onto my beautiful and serene ranch to cut down their Christmas trees or pick out pumpkins during my two favorite seasons. And as cool as it would be to keep goats and run a creamery, I suspect that the regular milkings and food safety issues might be a headache.

Hmm, what to do, what to do. What's beautiful, fragrant, sustainable, holistically medicinal, and all-around lovely? Why, that would be lavender. According to my research, small-scale lavender crops can be very successful. Lavender shrubs attract few pests or diseases and thus don't require chemical pesticides. Nor do they require fertilizers or extensive irrigation. Lavender is a good "entertainment crop," meaning it does well on the festival and agri-tour circuit. Lavender grows very well in California, Oregon, and Washington state. Of course, all the great lavender farmers regularly travel to the heart of the lavender industry in...the Provence region of France. Alors, quelle horreur! Seriously, can you imagine the annual trade shows and conferences?

As thirty-something women with no kids tend to do, I signed up for yet another class. This one is a six-week course called Lavender: From Soil to Sachet. I can tell I'm onto something.

Cruisin'

A couple months ago I edged a little closer to ranch life by selling my convertible and buying a little SUV. Truth be told, the convertible was too much like the friend's spouse that you don't click with at all but are forced to appreciate because he really isn't a bad guy. The car looked nice and ran well. It couldn't help the fact that I don't like the sun on my face and thus have no business owning a car that is meant to be driven with its top down. With a bloom-where-you're-planted sort of optimism, I had bought the car immediately after moving out here from the east coast, mistakenly thinking that if I fully embraced the California lifestyle, surely it would grow on me.

I soon learned that a convertible with its top up is pretty much a death trap. The bonnet precludes any kind of rear visibility. I closed my eyes, held my breath, and hoped for the best every time I had to change lanes. For some reason the drivers I cut off or nearly clipped were not always appeased by my mea culpa shoulder shrug and the "I'm sorry" politely mouthed into the rearview mirror.

Any remnant of the fantasy of cruising down the Pacific Coast Highway at sunset, top down, hair blowing in the wind, fully evaporated after a slight debacle in Denver over Christmas this past winter. The Wrangler and I weren't in the convertible; we were in his zippy little car that we had driven from California to Denver so that we could bring the dog along for the holidays. Did I mention that said zippy little car was nicely equipped with...summer tires? Good one, Wrangler. Denver got a 1/2 inch of snow, and the car refused to budge. "I think the car is broken," the Wrangler said, with faint traces of panic, as he pressed on the gas and his good for nothing baby didn't move. I started sniffling as I watched the parade of all-wheel-drive Subarus dodging our stalled vehicle. I practically could hear the crunch of a giant SUV slamming into us.

Eventually a slightly exasperated state trooper arrived on the scene to assist the two idiots with the California license plates navigate the 1/2 inch of snow. He stood behind the car as the Wrangler pressed on the gas.

Approaching the driver's side window, the trooper announced, "You've got too much torque."

"Yes I do, sir," the Wrangler promptly replied, doing nothing to conceal a smug grin.

"Yeah, these cars are built for speed but not icy conditions," the trooper said, giving the hood scoop an admiring glance.

I observed the trooper settling into a comfortable lean against the car, and I knew the Wrangler was about launch into a proud and detailed discussion of his engine specs. What is it with guys? I cut him off at the pass. "This is not the time!!" I shouted. We were, after all, in the middle lane and vehicles were whizzing past us on both sides at frightening speeds. The trooper snapped out of his reverie and helped us gain some traction. We made it back to the house, although not without a few close calls with stop signs and the like. Upon reaching our destination, I had decided that the time was nigh to buy at least one ranch-worthy vehicle. Glancing at the Wrangler, who was lovingly scraping snow off his zippy little car, I knew that it was the convertible that had to go.

I'm not sad. I love my new all-wheel-drive vehicle. Today, it smells a little like horses and dogs, which is pleasingly ranch-like. I wanted to put a cowgirl decal on the back, but the Wrangler got pouty. Turns out, he likes driving the little SUV a lot, but he can't drive it with a cowgirl decal. Perhaps he will ditch his zippy little car for something a bit more ranch-worthy.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

A Well-Groomed Horse

Our riding lessons are underway. Actually, the lessons involve much more than riding. At least half the time is devoted to grooming and tacking. I have a newfound appreciation for the wranglers at the dude ranches we visit on vacations. At such places, someone simply leads a fully groomed and tacked horse to me and I just hop on. After the ride I jump off and someone leads the horse away, while I head for the spa or the dining room. But I think I've been missing out. I'm sure grooming and tacking can be a pain if you're pressed for time, but brushing a beautiful horse sure beats sitting in the office.

I was wiped out after the lessons this morning. After I got home, I took a shower and a nice two-hour nap. Lessons apparently are not as exhausting for the Wrangler. He went surfing. He better enjoy this schedule while it lasts--surfing and ranching generally don't go hand-in-hand.

Scruffy McScruff

Unlike Fenway's smooth coat, Dash's coat is looking a little scruffy.

Kitschy Kitchenware

I'm overhauling my baking equipment drawer. After almost 11 years since settin' up shop with ye olde Wrangler, it's time to replace the faded and mismatched stuff. Anthropologie has some super cute kitchen things this season. I love these chicken measuring cups; there also are some funny nesting geese measuring cups. I'm not sure that Anthropologie's $18 flower-shaped measuring spoons work any better than the standard sort that cost less than two bucks, but the ranch is all about putting the "f-u-n" in "functional," right?

Soup's On

I picked up a cute cookbook, From Portland's Palate, in the airport gift shop on my way home from Portland this past weekend. Last night I tried one of the soup recipes--and we ate every last drop. Here's the recipe:

Italian Sausage Soup

1 lb Italian sausage, sliced and casings removed (use a really good sausage--I used the excellent sweet Italian turkey sausage that my local grocery store Gelson's makes)

1/2 cup carrots, chopped

1/2 cup celery, chopped

1 cup fresh mushrooms, sliced (I used baby bellas)

2 Tbsp. butter

1/2 c fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped (I used parsley from my spice garden--yum!)

3 cups chicken broth (I used organic chicken broth that comes in the box)

1 (15.5 oz) can garbanzo beans with liquid

1 tsp. dried sage

salt and pepper

1 cup freshly shredded Parmesan cheese

In large saucepan over medium-high heat, saute sausage until browned. Remove from pan and set aside. Drain excess grease (if you use turkey sausage, there isn't any grease to drain). Add carrots, onion, celery, and mushrooms and saute in butter over medium-low heat for 5-10 minutes or until veggies are softened.

Return sausage to pan. Add parsley, chicken broth, garbanzo beans with liquid, sage, and salt and pepper. Simmer 30 to 40 minutes.

To serve, sprinkle each serving with Parmesan cheese.

Artisan bread with three cheeses baked in the crust was delicious with the soup.

Small Farm Conference

Yesterday I took a vacation day and headed down to San Diego for the California Small Farm Conference with a fellow lawyer/wannabe farmer-rancher. The main attraction? The "Opportunities for New Farmers" workshop, which didn't disappoint. I took pages of notes during the presentation of the Executive Director of California FarmLink. This non-profit organization is nothing short of the answer to the prayers of all aspiring farmers and ranchers in California. FarmLink, which serves as a clearinghouse of information and contacts, links retiring farmers with aspiring farmers and provides advice on land sales, business planning, and innovative farm financing techniques. We also enjoyed the keynote address of A.G. Kawamura, the Secretary of the California Department of Food and Agriculture. I've previously blogged about visits to Tanaka Farms here in Orange County. Turns out, Tanaka Farms is run by Secretary Kawamura's third-generation farming family.

Sometimes I am so caught up with the ranch fantasy (open spaces, happy animals, and the simplicity, freedom, and independence associated with ranch life) that it is easy to overlook the harsh realities faced by many of the small farmers and ranchers in this country. We caught the Q&A session with Rayne Pegg, Administrator of the USDA Agricultural Marketing Service, and I was brought back to reality with a jolt as I listened to one woman's impassioned and tearful plea for help from the USDA. Her family farm was recently foreclosed. Other members of the audience rose and spoke of their need for help--what do you when growing a tomato costs you three times as much money as Wal-Mart is willing to pay you for that tomato?

I looked around and found myself surrounded by real people. Jeans, dusty boots, and deep suntans of the outdoor labor, not spray-tan, variety. After all the seats were occupied in the meeting room for one of the break-out sessions, latecomers just plopped down on the floor. I couldn't help but compare and contrast this conference with the law conferences that I usually attend. Much food for thought. It was a good day.

"Scalpel, Please" or "The Case of the Constipated Fish"

I stopped in at the Ocean Institute this morning to catch up with my fellow animal husbandry volunteers, clean a tank, and assist with a necropsy. A Pacific Mackerel in the schooling tank had been swimming upside down for a week, so he was gently euthanized and put out of his misery. Another volunteer, Allyson, researched possible maladies and concluded that the fish might have been constipated. Constipation puts pressure on the swim bladder, which causes the fish to swim upside down. Our boss disagreed. She said the condition likely was neurological. Allyson expertly performed the necropsy to confirm the diagnosis. She made a clean horizontal incision running from the gills to the tail and then identified and removed each of the major organs. (Did I mention Allyson is in high school? Scrubbing tanks and being intellectually outmatched by high school kids will keep you humble.) The organs looked healthy, which supports our boss's theory. Chief aquarist, 1. Volunteers, 0.

Little Gremlin

Almost 13 weeks old now and spunkier than ever.

Massage or Dressage?

This morning the Wrangler and I toured the Equestrian Center at Nellie Gail Ranch. The facilities were impressive--very clean and well-kept. The Center can board 96 horses, but the buildings are spread out among several training rings and sun pens. The area feels spacious and pleasant. Twenty-three miles of nicely groomed (clear paths, fresh wood chips) horse trails run through the community.

The Equestrian Center has a soothing energy. Good vibes are abundant. As we strolled along the paths and through the barns, a happy barn cat kept an eye on things from his post. Chickens clucked at us from their tidy coop. Good-looking boxer dogs lounged in the sun. A mild-mannered trainer quietly worked with two students in the jumping ring.

When we saw the beautiful Friesian elegantly high-stepping in the dressage ring, I decided then and there that I'm starting dressage training at some point. Western-style riding is fun and all that, but dressage looks like ballet. In fact, I later learned that it's actually referred to as horse ballet. As we reviewed the pricing for lessons and training, boarding and upkeep, veterinary care and supplies (not to mention the cost of leasing or buying the horses!), it occurred to me that we probably should trim some other expenses. My spa membership is an obvious thing to eliminate, although I pretty much live for my massages! They will be sorely missed! And the irony is, after all that riding, I'm sure I'll need a massage more than ever. How very Gift of the Magi.

A Horse, Of Course

My horseback riding party at the Marriott Ranch in Hume, Virginia

I guess it was inevitable--just a matter of time. The Rainy Day Ranch might get a horse or two. I've resisted this urge for a while. Horses are temperamental and even dangerous. They're expensive. They demand a lot of time. They're a major commitment. But some people sail, some people travel, some people restore cars, some people have kids. In other words, a lot of people have costly, risky, and time-consuming interests. There's really no excuse for an urban cowgirl to deny herself a horse. (Well, except for the fact that I know next to nothing about horses.)

Although the Wrangler has rather mixed feelings about my plans to acquire goats, sheep, and alpacas, he actually is fully on board this Pony Express. I'm going to get started. First step: lessons.

Guest Contributer: The Wrangler Speaks

This being my first guest blog entry, I feel obligated to introduce myself. I'm the Wrangler. You may be saying to yourself, I thought this Wrangler guy was just a fictional character in one of those crazy stories where each chapter is more random than the next. What I mean is, if you've been following Starr's blog, you've read about sheep, goats, chickens, and alpacas. You've been to a Texas livestock store, Farm Camp, Christmas tree ranches, through the L.A. wildfires for Ethiopian food, and back to Texas for the rodeo (just to name a few places). The theme of the blog brings to mind a book Starr gave me back-in-the-day, The Journals of Dan Eldon. I won't go into the details of this young man's extraordinary life because I couldn't do it justice. But the essence of his story is that The Journey Is the Destination. I remind myself of this every day. I love this journey and hope the destination is never found.

--The Wrangler

A Dashing Lad

Our little guy Dash skates by on his good looks. If he weren't so darn cute, I'd be tempted to set him outside for the owl. Of course, I say this in jest. Dash is a good-hearted fellow--he's not a complete monster. He can be very sweet when he's not barking, squirming, biting, chewing, and destroying stuff.

Icarus(es) R Us

Going to Costco three times in as many weeks was, perhaps, ill-advised. The Costco moratorium is back on. Today the Wrangler flew too close to the sun with his 8-lb bag of frozen potstickers and 15 lbs of bloody, fleshy chicken wings. There are just two of us. I don't feel like seeing Ziplock bags of chicken wings in our freezer for the next four months. Is it so much work to stop at the market a couple times a week for the fresh stuff? "Stocking up" on the ranch should involve things like jars of preserves from the garden, not a five-year supply of frozen processed potstickers. I looked down at the madness in our SUV-sized cart and bolted.

Dearest Costco, it's not you, it's me. Well, maybe it's a little you.

Here Comes Trouble

Our first Jack Russell Terrier clearly tricked us into thinking that all the rumors about JRTs just couldn't be true. Stubborn? Nah. Hyper? Not at all. In fact, even as puppy, Fenway was pretty darn good. He never went through a biting or chewing stage. He never made a peep--we didn't even know he could bark until we'd had him for four months. He still isn't very vocal. He likes his little puppy pen, which made crate training a breeze. He chills quietly when we have to leave him at home. He loves going for rides in the car. He can sit still and relax.

Although it might be too early to tell, it is looking like our new JRT is going to be a more typical terrier--trouble! Dash loves to bark. He hates his crate. He can't sit still. He bites us with his sharp puppy teeth and chews on everything. He screamed like a cat--and at the top of his lungs--the entire trip to and from the vet's office.

But that little face! It is impossible to resist. The hardest day with a puppy is more fun than the easiest day at work. I can't help thinking that we should get a third JRT ASAP. Let's get the puppy stage over all at once. Three dogs isn't too many, right? Or maybe a nice even number, like four? Better get working on finding that ranch.

We All Go to Costco

I have an on-again, off-again, love-hate relationship with Costco, but I can think of only two other Costco holdouts among my friends. Whenever I inquire about a particularly nice patio set, beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers, cool surf board, stunning custom photo book, or delicious steak, the answer invariably is, "Thanks! I got it at Costco."

On our last visit to Costco a couple years ago, we had just renewed our membership after a two year lapse. The Wrangler, who unabashedly loves Costco from the $999 flat-screen TVs right down to the 39 cent hot dogs in the cafe, was giddy. "Better get this now, before things get picked over," he kept saying happily, as he filled our cart with things like a lifetime supply of Ziplock sandwich bags and a herd's worth of beef jerky. I grew increasingly annoyed. "Warehouse stores like Costco and Sam's Club represent everything that is wrong with this country," I told the Wrangler indignantly. "What have we as a society done to get to the point where we need six-packs of full-sized boxes of Raisin Bran?" A tray of cinnamon rolls looked yummy, but when I picked up the tray, four other trays came with it. We didn't need five trays of cinnamon rolls. "Who cares," said the Wrangler grandly. "At these prices, just buy the five-pack and throw away four." With that, I imposed our most recent two year hiatus from Costco. We didn't have room in our tiny cottage for the 20 boxes of Ziplock bags, and I ended up donating 19 of the boxes to the Ocean Institute. (The OI goes through a lot of Ziplock bags because it apportions the frozen shrimp it buys in bulk...probably from Costco.)

All this being said, we just renewed our membership a couple weeks ago. The Wrangler, itching to take advantage of Costco's great deals on HD sound systems, explained that if we plan to live on a remote ranch, we have to start adopting the "stocking up" mentality. "On the ranch, a snowstorm could hit and we might not be able to get into town for days or even weeks," he cautioned, as the sun streamed in the window of our urban beach cottage. This was a bit rich coming from someone who constantly employs the "we don't live on a ranch just yet" reasoning to shoot down sensible ideas like getting a pickup truck or two for livestock. "Plus, think of our grocery list for the dinner for 40 at the Friendship House," he wisely argued. "We really do need 20 cans of tomatoes and 15 cans of beans."

And so we embarked on our first trip to Costco since 2007. I will admit that the deals in Costco's electronics section alone knocked me off the soap box, and by the time I cleared the book and DVD aisles, my self-righteousness was but a silly phase of years past. We bumped into friends there, of course. We also happened upon a brochure introducing us to Costco's no-haggle, no-hassle car buying service. The following week, said service saved us a tidy $2000 and a day's worth of headaches when we bought a new car. Costco now has my allegiance. At least $2000 worth.